roads-like-wintergreen asked: don't ever think that you are insignificant. you are beautiful, smart, funny, a beautiful dancer and artist. the second anyone tells you otherwise, don't believe them and keep your head up because you have so much to offer to the world and i know that. don't let other people guide your mind or your heart. you are awesome please remember that <3
Why thank you. It means more than you realize. I really appreciate your kind words. <3 I’ve come to realize that what makes a person worthy or significant is different for everyone. I feel a lot better. Thanks again.
I feel worthless.
I feel worthless. Worthless: without worth; of no use, importance, or value; good-for-nothing. Upon explaining this to someone, they told me to stop it, that I was being silly. But how do you define your worth? Is it by your appearance? If worth is determined by your physical appearance, I am worth absolutely nothing. I like to believe that you can and should determine a person’s worth by the way they look at others, by the contents within their hearts, the passion and intention behind their actions, and their capacity to be a friend. If this is all true, then why is it that I feel so insignificant. I think it is because I am a person typically disregarded. I feel worthless because I am often left behind. I feel worthless because I don’t feel supported. I think that the universe would continue to spin on without my presence, and there might even be a few lives which would benefit from my absence. I feel worthless.
Someday.
This morning I was feeling triggered and extremely depressed. In therapy I learned to make diagrams and pictures. This morning I drew two pictures. I drew my life as it is now, blue indicating things that make me sad, and yellow dots for the joyful things. I then created a picture of the future, of the things to come which would bring me happiness, and the things that might cause me sadness. I came to the realization that someday, I wouldn’t feel this sad. There will come a day when I will acknowledge that I am not as alone as I feel. I will find a group of people who will not let me down. All the disappointment and the heavy weights resting on my heart will vanish, and I will be able to go to sleep by myself without feeling disconnected. I will be able to wake up and appreciate the gift of life. Today, I’m sad. Today, I do feel alone. I won’t forever. Someday I will feel loved. Someday I will love this universe and appreciate all it has to offer me. Someday I’ll amount to something worthy. Someday, things will be better.
